Why don’t they say that all cats go to heaven?

A story dedicated to a special little kitten who left one of his lives too soon.

Hi there, human.

I’m a cat. Yea, that’s right, an actual real-life, be-whiskered moggie. I do have a name but we’re not supposed to tell. You see there are certain rules that we follow that are only known to us cats but I’m going to share one of the most important. As you may know, we do have nine lives and because of that, we have to be a bit more discrete than our doggy cousins. They go straight up to heaven, of course, when their time comes. We, cats, however, take a more indirect route.

Having nine lives can make thing a bit complicated. First, it’s not like you humans think. It’s not that we have narrow escapes. No, we actually do have nine lives and we remember each of our lives in vivid detail so, if we get a little distracted, we might forget which life we’re in right now. That can make us look a bit confused… some of us start racing around the room as if looking for something we’ve lost. Or we might start gazing into space or seem transfixed by a certain spot on the wall. We also forget to answer to our name, sometimes. We’ve had a few different ones so it’s understandable, right?

The second issue is why we’re often called aloof. Not true. Or, at least, not always true. You see, we know that this life we’re living is temporary. We’ve seen so much that we know not to suffer the small stuff. While dogs spend a lot of time on what we consider trivial pursuits (scratching, digging, sniffing and so forth), we sit and ponder the great questions such as where does cat food come from when it isn’t an actual mouse or why do humans get sad when someone dies.

We cats rarely get sad, exactly. We get angry if we are mistreated, of course. We can snarl and scratch with the best of ‘em. But if we lose one of our kittens, for example, we know that we’ll meet that kitten again in one of the lives to come. It’s only logical. Paths will cross again. That’s why, whenever you see an old tabby in the street, do say hello. You might just be in the presence of an old friend.

You may well ask what happens when we come to the end of our ninth life. Good question, human. Truth is, we’re not allowed to say! But if all dogs go to heaven, you can rest assured, we, the most perfect of animal kind, must have a very special spot reserved. I can see it now, a shady spot with trees to climb, shadows to chase, butterflies to pester and, of course, plenty of humans to spoil us with tasty treats. Come to think of it, that doesn’t seem much different to the life I’m living right now. I do believe I’m in heaven already!

Purrrrrr!